Pad Kee Mao Drunken Noodles

What if I can’t find Thai chilies or I want less heat?

• Chili garlic sauce:  if you don’t like heat at all, start with less than one tablespoon chili paste.  I would say 1 tablespoon is about a 3 on the heat scale at a Thai restaurant, which is what most people order. To taste the heat, go with 1 ½ -2 tablespoons and then add more to taste.
• Cayenne peppers:   30,000 to 50,000 SHU, which means they are, on average, half as spicy as Thai chili peppers.   I would start with 4 deseeded, minced cayenne peppers and add more to taste.
• Serrano peppers: 10,000 to 23,000 SHU, which means they are, on average, 5 times less spicy than Thai chili peppers.  I would start with 5 deseeded, minced serrano peppers and add more to taste.
• Red pepper flakes or ground cayenne pepper:  can be added to taste. 

More TIPS AND TRICKS

• Oyster/fish sauce substitute:  If you’re allergic to shellfish/vegetarian, use LEE KUM KEE Vegetarian Stir-Fry Sauce instead of oyster sauce and fish sauce.
• Soy sauce + molasses + brown sugar: create an easy substitute for Thai sweet soy sauce.   Do NOT skip the molasses, it is what makes this recipe taste authentic!  Use low sodium soy sauce or your noodles will be too salty.
• What noodles to use: Drunken Noodles is made with fresh, flat, extra wide, rice noodles which can be difficult to find.  A welcome accessible substitute is dried wide rice noodles.  You’ll want to purchase the 1/4-inch wide rice noodles (often called “Pad Thai” Rice Noodles) or even wider if you can find them. The Amazon noodles I used are A Taste of Thai Extra Wide Straight Cut Dried Rice Noodles. They are ⅜ of an inch (⅛ wider than Pad Thai Noodles) and give the dish a more authentic mouth feel.  In fact, America’s Test Kitchen rated them the best dried wide rice noodles, with superior charring ability – exactly what we need!
• Don’t overcook dry rice noodles: check the noodles at the 12 minute soaking mark then continue to soak if needed.  You want the noodles to be limp and pliable, but still slightly firm and slightly crunchy because they will continue to cook with the sauce.  Once you add the sauce to the noodles in the wok, you can cook them to your desired texture.
• Warm fresh rice noodles:  to reduce breakage of fresh rice noodles, bring them to room temperature before stir frying by 1) transferring the noodles to a microwave safe dish, drizzling with a couple of tablespoons of water, covering with a damp paper towel and microwaving for 20 seconds or until warm; or 2) transferring the fresh rice noodles from the refrigerator to a colander and quickly running hot tap water over them.  Be sure to shake off any excess water and use them immediately.
• Use the correct pan: a wok is ideal for this recipe because it can safely reach high temperatures to char the ingredients.  If you don’t have a wok, you will want to use a nonstick skillet, NOT stainless-steel or cast iron like I commonly use in stir fries.  The noodles are extremely sticky and will stick and break against any other pan that’s not nonstick unless you use an exorbitant amount of oil which will make your noodles unappetizingly greasy.
• Storage: Drunken Noodles are best eaten fresh because the noodles will continue to soak up the sauce until there’s no sauce left!  The leftovers will be very flavorful and the noodles will still be chewy but they aren’t as appetizing because they taste drier.  Still, leftovers can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 5 days.  Microwave or warm in a skillet with a splash of water to add some moisture back to the dish.

VARIATIONS/DIFFERENT PROTEINS

• Swap veggies:  add whatever veggies you have in your fridge to the stir fry such as mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, bean sprouts, etc. 
• Make it gluten-free: use gluten-free tamari in place of the soy sauce and gluten-free oyster sauce.  The rice noodles are gluten free (but as always, double check the packaging).
• Shrimp Drunken Noodles:  use 12 ounces peeled, deveined medium shrimp. Toss the shrimp with the soy sauce and sesame oil like the chicken but omit the cornstarch.  Cook the shrimp separately from the onions, just until opaque, about 3 minutes, then transfer to a plate. Don’t add back to the work/skillet until ready to combine at the very end.
• Beef Drunken Noodles:  use 12 ounces flank steak or top sirloin sliced into thin strips.  Whisk together the soy sauce, sesame oil and 1 teaspoon cornstarch in a medium bowl then add the steak and stir to combine; let marinate while you prep the ingredients.  Heat 1 tablespoon oil in the skillet over high heat.  Add the beef to the skillet without the onions and line in a single layer and sear for 1 minute, flip and sear the other side. Transfer beef to a plate.
• Pork Drunken Noodles:  use 12 ounces pork tenderloin sliced into thin strips.  You’ll treat the pork tenderloin very similarly to the steak.  Whisk together the soy sauce, sesame oil and 1 teaspoon cornstarch in a medium bowl then add the pork and stir to combine; let marinate while you prep the ingredients.  Heat 1 tablespoon oil in the skillet over high heat.  Add the pork and stir fry without the onions just until cooked through.  Transfer to a plate. 
• Ground Pork Drunken Noodles:  use 12 ounces ground pork.  Brown the pork while seasoning with the soy sauce and sesame oil (skip the cornstarch).  Add the browned pork back to the skillet with the sauce and noodles.  
• Vegetarian Drunken Noodles:  use extra-firm tofu. Start by draining excess moisture from the tofu by placing it in a pie plate, topping with a heavy plate and weighing down with 2 heavy cans (to release water). Set aside for 10 minutes then cut into ½-inch cubes and toss with the soy sauce and sesame oil.