Merry Christmas! I hope your day is filled with lots and lots of love and light. To celebrate the birth of our Savior, I wanted to repost about my most meaningful Christmas (below). To me, this is what the light and hope of Christmas is all about. I was reminded of this just this past week when I went to my doctors appointment. My lung function was way down …again. I shed a lot of tears. It is easy to live in denial that I am slowly dying when I feel so alive and keep so busy. But in truth, I am blessed to be alive every single day. But because of Jesus Christ, I need not fear anything, even death. Because of Christ, – his birth, his sacrifice, his resurrection – we can all live together forever with our families.
“For unto us a achild is born, unto us a son is given; and his name shall be called, Wonderful, Counselor, The cMighty God, The dEverlasting Father, The Prince of ePeace.” Isaiah 9:6
He conquered death, and in doing so He also conquered fear, giving us the gift of peace. May we always honor his sacred gift today and throughout the year. xo
Merry Christmas with My Twinkling IV Pole
(adapted from my 2014 post)
As we approach the holidays, my mind is flooded with memories of two Christmas trees that stand out above all the rest. Not because they were tall or boasted perfect branches or were immaculately decorated, but because they’re a reminder of all the blessings and miracles in my life and of the generosity and selflessness of others. They remind me to be grateful for something as simple yet as miraculous as the ability to breathe.
To explain, before this transplant, at age 16 I was deathly ill due to cystic fibrosis. Cystic fibrosis is a genetic disease that mainly affects the lungs and pancreas of the individual. Due to a defect in the sodium chloride channel, thick mucus is produced that clogs airways and leads to life-threatening infections which scar the lungs over time and kill lung tissue until there is no healthy lung tissue left. Death in CF patients is usually caused by suffocation in spite of constantly breathing oxygen from a tank.
My health had steadily been declining since my freshman year of high school as I gradually took less and less classes until my junior year, when I was completely home-schooled and eventually bedridden. Even as my health rapidly spiraled downward accompanied by constant 104-degree fevers, constant vomiting, no appetite, no energy to even stand in the shower (I had sponge baths instead), I was still in denial that I was dying. I had told myself as I watched my older brother, Justin, at age 19, cheerfully endure these same challenges months before he passed away, that if my behavior ever mirrored his, then I would know I was dying. I reminded myself of this, but I still couldn’t accept that death was what came next. That was impossible. I had always been so much healthier than Justin. I wasn’t going to die at 16 due to cystic fibrosis. The cure was going to be here. But my parents knew differently, they knew a living lobar lung transplant was my only hope for survival.
My day-to-day routine was not so bad, but some days, the accumulative effect of not seeing any improvement and not being able to do anything for myself would cause me to cave. I tried not to let my family see me cry, so it was often late at night when the tears would quietly and freely flow, bringing me to my knees…in bed. With swollen eyes, I would call on the powers of heaven, the very same powers that created this universe. I would plead for strength—in both mind and body.
As I struggled for breath and for life, it was confirmed to me again and again that God was my companion. I came to know in a tangible, undeniable way that God is our Father and loves us SO MUCH and is waiting, ready with open, outstretched arms to strengthen us as we wait upon him. As we read in Isaiah 40:29, 31, “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength…they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles.”
I know the simply prayers beginning with “My Heavenly Father” can have a profound effect upon our lives. He really does hear our prayers – no matter how big, or how small.
After a series of miracles, too many to detail here (you can read about some of them here or all about them here), I was accepted for a living lobar lung transplant at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. A living lobar transplant is an alternative for individuals who will likely die while on the waiting list for a traditional transplant. It involves the surgical removal of the right lower lobe from one living donor and the left lower lobe from a separate living donor, (everyone has five lobes total) and replacing the recipients diseased 5 lobes (which are completely removed) with these two new lobes. The recipient now has a new set of lungs comprised of the donor’s two lobes. The first successful transplant utilizing a living lobe donor was celebrated in 1990 when a mother donated a lobe to her dying twelve-year-old daughter. In 1999, my junior year of high school, the procedure was still quite rare, and continues to be today.
After hopeful testing, none of my immediate family members or extended family qualified as a match for me. My very life was at the complete mercy of the selflessness and courage of friends. Word quietly leaked out to friends that a donor was needed. Within days, more than 30 individuals stepped forward and offered to undergo the difficult, painful surgery for me. It is indescribable to express what it feels like when you are so helpless, and can do nothing for yourself and angels steps forward and say, “l will do that for you,” which in this case translates to, “I will save your life.” After a series of tests and their own powerful witnesses to step forward, family friend Dr. Jim Davies and family friend and my church Bishop at the time, Graham Bullick, were accepted as my lung donors.
The night before surgery, my dad recorded in his journal: November 28, 1999: “I have talked to many doctors since being here about the procedure. It will be a difficult few weeks but seeing Jennifer healthy, with energy, will be terrific. She is so excited. She is so remarkable. She said if it were not for her family she would just as soon pass on. She said, ‘Dad, I think this surgery will be fine, but if not, don’t be sad because I’ll still be fine. I will either wake up with new lungs or wake up on the other side. Both would be great.’ What great faith she has. She said the transplant is too easy and wondered what future challenges she would need to face if this works!”
After a week of health ups and downs and many prayers on my behalf after surgery, my breathing tube was finally removed. It was with no little reverence that I inhaled my first deep breath with my new lungs and crumbled into a puddle of tears. My tears were the grateful realization I had new, healthy working lungs. I was going to have energy. I was going to breathe easily. I was going to breathe deeply. I wasn’t going to cough twenty-four-seven. I was going to live.
A couple days later, my joy turned to extreme reverence and gratitude as I beheld my donors on the other side of my ICU glass window. Although they were not allowed into my room, no walls could separate the love penetrating every inch of that hospital chamber. The weight of their sacrifice became more real as I sat inhaling and exhaling with lobes from their lungs, all the while not feeling like I wasn’t breathing at all. As I gazed at their smiles through the glass, I was overcome with indescribable awe and tremendous gratitude at their sacrifice. My donors had willingly teetered on the edge of mortality in order to rescue me from the brink of death. I knew from that moment on, every joy I experience in this life, every new discovery, every smile, every hope for the future, simply every second, I would owe to them.
Their sacrifice has given me greater understanding and greater appreciation for the suffering, sacrifice, and saving power of Jesus Christ. Speaking of His sacrifice, President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, “We cannot forget that. We must never forget it, for here our Savior, our Redeemer, the Son of God, gave Himself, a vicarious sacrifice for each of us. May we always remember Him and the price He paid to win our souls.” Remembering and being grateful for my donors’ gift, and Christ’s exquisite gift is my guiding light. Everything is made permanently right in Christ – whether in this life or the next if we strive to follow Him.
Now, over 17 years later, I am grateful for all that my donors have made possible in my life, including my selfless sister who donated her kidney to me in 2013 (more here). I owe them my very life – from graduating high school, to graduating college, working multiple jobs, starting my own company Carlsbad Cravings and getting to cook and eat a lot, to traveling to exotic locations, living with 13 different roommates, forging lifelong friendships, being aunt to over 20 nieces and nephews, continued daughter to my parents and sister to my brothers and sister, to being mommy to my squishy French Bulldog, Kiwi, to marrying the man of my dreams and getting to spend my cherished time with him. All made possible by Graham, Jim, my sister, Kimberly, and an omnipotent Father in Heaven.
As I think back on these two special Christmases and Christmas trees, I realize that we likely won’t have the chance to physically save someone’s life, but we do have the opportunity, whether we know it or not, to save others every day emotionally and spiritually through our small acts of love and kindness. Giving to others, and being recipients of giving, changes everything. As Albert Einstein so eloquently stated, “Only a life lived for others is a life worth living.”
I’m so grateful for those who were willing to give their life for me, and for what it has taught me about honoring the reason for the season, even our own Savior, Jesus Christ.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas full of gratitude, love and loved ones! To read more of my story and my source of hope and strength, click here.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
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Merry Christmas with my Twinkling IV Pole
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Shirley Rensink says
Merry Christmas Jen
Than you for being you and for giving us the gifts of yourself that you so freely offer. Not just the cooking which I love but the faith and the serenity you carry so easily. We love you and pray for your health and happiness for a very long time.
Cheryl says
Your message was the very first thing I saw when I opened my email on this Christmas morning, and what a Blessing it is, Jen. Thank you for your testimony of faith and love beyond all understanding. May God continue to bless you and allow your light to shine for Him.
Amy says
Merry Christmas Jen,
My niece has Cystic Fibrosis and she’s always struggled with her illness. She didn’t find out she had CF until she was 16 years old. She was misdiagnosed for most of her young life and very confused. She is now 33 years old, married and a stepmother. She embraces everyday and grows stronger in her faith. You and my niece are an inspiration to us all! You are fighters, full of faith and are determined to enjoy life!
Thank you Jen for sharing your love of life with us. You are truly amazing! Merry Christmas and may God bless you and your family in 2017.
Jennifer says
Merry Christmas, Jen
You continue to be such an inspiration –your imaginative (and delicious!) recipes as well as your faith. Your willingness to share both of these is a great gift for us all. Thank you for such a wonderful reminder of His gift and His grace.
I pray that you rebound from this setback.
May you gain strength from your devoted fans.
Josee Larose says
Dear Jen,
I had no idea… You are so courageous and strong. I wish you the very best, in whatever form you need.
Hugs from Montreal, Canada
Josee
Lisa says
Jen your story and faith and amazing positive spirit are so inspiring and beautiful! I read your wonderful book and loved it. I pray for your health and happiness and continued beautiful spirit! Blessings to you and your family!
Kristen Chidsey says
Merry Christmas Jen. Thank you for sharing your story again and reminding us that Christmas is all about Jesus and his gift to us.
I hope you are richly blessed this year.
Love,
Kristen
Sheila Cassidy says
Dear Jen,
Merry Christmas . Your post is beautiful, as are you. I am so sorry you did not receive better news from your doctor, you accepted it with such grace and strength. I will pray for you and your family. All of your blog fans are here for you!
Judi says
Beautifully written and eloquently said….Merriest Christmas and a joyous bountiful New Year to you and your families and extended family….
Kathy Fisher says
Reading your story has made my Christmas morning explode with the Truth of what Christmas is all about. Thanks. (from Montana)
May Chan says
God bless you… your strong will and belief in the Lord give others hope. You are truly a beautiful soul including family and friends who have wrapped their loving embrace in support of you. I’m glad I ran into your website a few months ago…you give me inspiration. Thank you, for what you give back to the rest of us! Merry Christmas!
Judy says
Love checking out your recipes. Merry Christmas and pray that the New Year brings you happiness and great health.
Tracey Alvernaz says
What an inspirational story. You are in our prayers. Are you able to receive another transplant? I will pray for that. I know that the miracles of Christ happen every day. My late husband was a fourth Kidney transplant recipient, so I know that He hears our prayers. God bless you today and every day, and that you are given the strength in all aspects of your life. I would get tested for you. I live in El Cajon. I know that tissue typing is necessary and antibody match as well.
Much love and prayers.
Delisa says
Merry Christmas! Thank you fir sharing your story.
Sherry Dietrich says
I had ablation surgery for my atrial fibrillation on the 21st. I am still tired and sore, but was able, slowly, and with rest, to bake all I’d wanted to for family coming over Christmas morning. I am grateful to hear your story, it reminds me as tired as I am, as sore as I am, to be grateful for all the blessings. If my husband hadn’t gotten better from a 2 year illness, he wouldn’t have been on my walk with our dog, when I passed out on their lawn. Ambulance came. I received a defibrillator in my chest. Without this doctors would have continued to ignore my year long complaints. But now this surgery, I could be cured and off all the horrible meds I’m on. I’m very very grateful. You’re in my prayers!
Emily says
Merry Christmas! Thank you for your fantastic recipes. My family in Nova Scotia, Canada will be making a few today for our Christmas meal. Thank you for making it extra delishious. Wishing you all the very best!!
Karen M. says
I think of you often, when I read your blog (your uplifting spirit). I love your recipes and your message. I pray for your continued health and a cure for cystic fibrosis. Have a very Merry Christmas!
Barbara says
Merry Christmas Jen 🙂 With all your life struggles mixed with happy times it must seem like a roller coaster ride. I wish you happiness and health for the New Year and may God look down upon you and smile.
Carmen says
Oh my goodness!!! Tears of joy and sadness combined!!! I know you don’t know me but we are sisters through Christ. I love your testimony!!! What an amazing story and thank you for sharing and being vulnerable!!! HE IS SO GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!! Prayers to you and for improved lung function.
Anne F says
You’re truly an inspiration!!!
My daughter-in-law just received a new liver 5 days ago, and by reading your story, you’ve helped me better understand what she’s going through.
Merry Christmas from Texas!
doreen chow says
Jen: I had no idea. I read your story and what a remarkable person you are and what an inspiration you are for everyone, just to read your post is a blessing for all. Thank you so much for sharing yourself and also sharing your recipes.
Denise Gonda says
Hi jen, thank you so much for sharing your testimony and recipes and sharing so much of yourself. You are so beautiful inside and out. Merry Christmas! Love, Denise
Judy Strouhal says
What a blessing you received and in turn you have been such a blessing to so many. Thank you so much for your story. You are so inspiring, faithful, and motivating. We all have so much to be thankful for and thank you for bringing your love into my home through recipes. When I cook for my family, it is with such love. I hope and pray so hard for you and your family and think about you often. Merry Christmas and so much love from Texas.
Judy Strouhal says
What a blessing you received and in turn you have been such a blessing to so many. Thank you so much for your story. You are so inspiring, faithful, and motivating. We all have so much to be thankful for and thank you for bringing your love into my home through recipes. When I cook for my family, it is with such love. I hope and pray so hard for you and your family and think about you often. Merry Christmas and much love from Texas
Lisa says
Love you Jen. I am so grateful for the example you have always been to me. You are strong, full of faith, and so kind and loving. I know the lifetime of trials and challenges have given you wisdom and understanding only found through the faithful. You truly are an amazing, beautiful person…one of my all time favorites in the world. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas! Please give my love to all of your family. Love you all.
Diane Walters says
Absolutely beautiful!! Thank you and Merry Christmas to you.
vicky kennedy says
Jen – i am so in awe of you…miracles…and love. you & God are amazing.
Misty says
What an amazing testimony you have. Merry Christmas!❤️
Oeuf Frais says
Go ahead, and ask God for another miracle. Don’t be shy; ask even if you think it’s impossible. God won’t mind. In fact, he loves seeing his children reach out to him in faith like yours. Let the magnitude of Jesus’ birth make you bold and confident. I for one will pray for the same. Merry Christmas!
Nikki Moranville says
I so agree with Oeuf Frais, Jen. Even as I read your recipes each day, I see your faith and your smile and I am inspired to do more, to try to be a better person, to try to find those who may need my help. God is there and you already know He hears you. You are one of His miracles already………..and you have helped ME believe in miracles. I haven’t ever met you but I love you, and reading your blog is like hearing from one of my own children. You are so special. Your light will always shine. You will always be in my heart and my prayers.
Jodi says
Merry Christmas Jen! You are an amazing person with great faith and an incredible testimony! Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Sending love and prayers your way.
Nikki says
Our God is truly an awesome God!! God bless you Jen and Happy New Year
Nikki
From Laguna Niguel
P.S. Making at least one of your recipes a week
Carol Flynn says
Jen, I was touched by your story and reminded of life’s greatest gift- living another day- that is so easily taken for granted. I will be praying for your continued good health and happiness! Love the recipes:)
LaTrice says
I couldn’t help but shed a few tears of joy reading your story. Life is such a precious gift, so it’s important to count your blessings on a daily basis. Here’s to 2017!!!
Jen says
Thanks LaTrice! Gratitude is definitely the key to happiness! I hope you have a wonderful 2017 as well! xo
Karen @ Sugartown Sweets says
I found your site while searching recipes. But oh what a beautiful story about your life and our almighty Saviour I found as well! Prayers for you..
Joan Craig Birsall says
Dear Jen,
Thank you for being you! You are an inspiration. I shared your suffering with my seven year old friend named Penny. Penny was my best friend. She loved to laugh. I made scrap book after scrap book filled with cut outs of jokes from magazines in the 1940’s. I lost my friend Penny but she lives with me in my heart.
Your followers will send you all the strength of love that they can so that you can over come and receive their blessings.
Best wishes to you and your family.
vicky kennedy says
You & God are amazing. i so enjoy your site.
HEATHER BRYANT says
Wow! What an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and faith.
Peggy Doyle says
I am a fellow lung transplant recipient and share your joy and love of life. Love receiving your recipes. Thank you for sharing. I wish you good health and will keep you in my prayers. God Bless and have a Happy New Year.
Eve Settles says
Your extraordinary story was a deeply meaningful Christmas gift to your readers, Jen, and one that we will treasure. Thanks be to God for your faith and his faithfulness. May your every day be blessed!
Candice says
You are such an inspiration to so many. Life is awesome with God to lead our every step. When we see broken beyond repair, He sees healing beyond belief. He has got this and will never grow weak and leave you. You are beautiful and such a gift to others. Keeping you in prayer and thought.
In Christ Love,
Candice
Jennifer Irizarry says
Every time I visit your blog for a dinner recipe I end up reading more posts and crying. You truly have an amazing spirit. Happy New Year. 🙂
Genie says
Wow! I just stumbled across your blog today after pinning a “29 Slow Cooker Soups” post–I think your Cheesy Chicken, Broccoli and Wild Rice Soup is what led me here. I can’t wait to make it!! More significantly, I have been reading your story through tears of amazement and awe today–call it providence, but it was just what I needed to read after being in a serious funk through most of last year for many reasons. Thank you for sharing your story, your grace, your faith and your hope. Your attitude in the face of everything you’ve been through is simply incredible. I hope to be half the person you are someday.
Happy New Year and God Bless!
David says
Thanks for your inspiring story. I appreciate your helping us remember what Christmas is really about. Prayers to you and your family.