Merry Christmas with my Twinkling IV Pole

To explain, before this transplant, at age 16 I was deathly ill due to cystic fibrosis. Cystic fibrosis is a genetic disease that mainly affects the lungs and pancreas of the individual. Due to a defect in the sodium chloride channel, thick mucus is produced that clogs airways and leads to life-threatening infections which scar the lungs over time and kill lung tissue until there is no healthy lung tissue left.  Death in CF patients is usually caused by suffocation in spite of constantly breathing oxygen from a tank.

My health had steadily been declining since my freshman year of high school as I gradually took less and less classes until my junior year, when I was completely home-schooled and eventually bedridden.  Even as my health rapidly spiraled downward accompanied by constant 104-degree fevers, constant vomiting, no appetite, no energy to even stand in the shower (I had sponge baths instead), I was still in denial that I was dying.  I had told myself as I watched my older brother, Justin, at age 19, cheerfully endure these same challenges months before he passed away, that if my behavior ever mirrored his, then I would know I was dying.  I reminded myself of this, but I still couldn’t accept that death was what came next.  That was impossible.  I had always been so much healthier than Justin.  I wasn’t going to die at 16 due to cystic fibrosis.  The cure was going to be here.  But my parents knew differently, they knew a living lobar lung transplant was my only hope for survival.

After hopeful testing, none of my immediate family members or extended family qualified as a match for me. My very life was at the complete mercy of the selflessness and courage of friends. Word quietly leaked out to friends that a donor was needed. Within days, more than 30 individuals stepped forward and offered to undergo the difficult, painful surgery for me. It is indescribable to express what it feels like when you are so helpless, and can do nothing for yourself and angels steps forward and say, “l will do that for you,” which in this case translates to, “I will save your life.” After a series of tests and their own powerful witnesses to step forward, family friend Dr. Jim Davies and family friend and my church Bishop at the time, Graham Bullick, were accepted as my lung donors.

The night before surgery, my dad recorded in his journal: November 28, 1999: “I have talked to many doctors since being here about the procedure. It will be a difficult few weeks but seeing Jennifer healthy, with energy, will be terrific. She is so excited. She is so remarkable. She said if it were not for her family she would just as soon pass on. She said, ‘Dad, I think this surgery will be fine, but if not, don’t be sad because I’ll still be fine. I will either wake up with new lungs or wake up on the other side. Both would be great.’ What great faith she has. She said the transplant is too easy and wondered what future challenges she would need to face if this works!”

After a week of health ups and downs and many prayers on my behalf after surgery, my breathing tube was finally removed. It was with no little reverence that I inhaled my first deep breath with my new lungs and crumbled into a puddle of tears. My tears were the grateful realization I had new, healthy working lungs. I was going to have energy. I was going to breathe easily. I was going to breathe deeply. I wasn’t going to cough twenty-four-seven. I was going to live.

A couple days later, my joy turned to extreme reverence and gratitude as I beheld my donors on the other side of my ICU glass window. Although they were not allowed into my room, no walls could separate the love penetrating every inch of that hospital chamber. The weight of their sacrifice became more real as I sat inhaling and exhaling with lobes from their lungs, all the while not feeling like I wasn’t breathing at all. As I gazed at their smiles through the glass, I was overcome with indescribable awe and tremendous gratitude at their sacrifice. My donors had willingly teetered on the edge of mortality in order to rescue me from the brink of death. I knew from that moment on, every joy I experience in this life, every new discovery, every smile, every hope for the future, simply every second, I would owe to them.

Their sacrifice has given me greater understanding and greater appreciation for the suffering, sacrifice, and saving power of Jesus Christ. Speaking of His sacrifice, President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, “We cannot forget that. We must never forget it, for here our Savior, our Redeemer, the Son of God, gave Himself, a vicarious sacrifice for each of us. May we always remember Him and the price He paid to win our souls.” Remembering and being grateful for my donors’ gift, and Christ’s exquisite gift is my guiding light. Everything is made permanently right in Christ – whether in this life or the next if we strive to follow Him.

Now, over 17 years later, I am grateful for all that my donors have made possible in my life, including my selfless sister who donated her kidney to me in 2013 (more here).  I owe them my very life – from graduating high school, to graduating college, working multiple jobs, starting my own company Carlsbad Cravings and getting to cook and eat a lot, to traveling to exotic locations, living with 13 different roommates, forging lifelong friendships, being aunt to over 20 nieces and nephews, continued daughter to my parents and sister to my brothers and sister, to being mommy to my squishy French Bulldog, Kiwi, to marrying the man of my dreams and getting to spend my cherished time with him. All made possible by Graham, Jim, my sister, Kimberly, and an omnipotent Father in Heaven.

As I think back on these two special Christmases and Christmas trees,  I realize that we likely won’t have the chance to physically save someone’s life, but we do have the opportunity, whether we know it or not, to save others every day  emotionally and spiritually through our small acts of love and kindness.  Giving to others, and being recipients of giving, changes everything. As Albert Einstein so eloquently stated, “Only a life lived for others is a life worth living.”

I’m so grateful for those who were willing to give their life for me, and for what it has taught me about honoring the reason for the season, even our own Savior, Jesus Christ.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas full of gratitude, love and loved ones! To read more of my story and my source of hope and strength, click here.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

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